Perhaps it's my love of zombie movies that leads me into dark corners such as this one, but, God help me, I sat through the entire film. Even at its lean sub-90 minute run time, that is no mean feat.Fast on the heels of Zombie Strippers, a more ambitious film that you can read a review of here, Zombies Zombies Zombies is what happens when a bad screenwriter and a producer with no expectations join forces to deliver a film that strives for mediocrity and falls short. Maybe it was because a few FHM and Playboy alumni were signed on (and they always make the best actors), but something must have led to money being pumped into this production.
Let's get to the story. We have some strippers, all of whom are far nicer and less drug-addicted than any strippers seen before on film, and a friendly bouncer who watches over them. Conversely, outside the walls of the strip club, you have some whores and a pimp who looks after them. Well, mostly he just insults them, but he seems to be their leader. Thanks to a tubby addict who's getting his fix from a local scientist, some inappropriate drugs get stolen and distributed, which turns the user into a zombie. Sure, that works on a metaphorical level, but let's not pretend that the writer of this honker was really shooting for metaphor.So, whores take drugs, surround strip club, eat a few passers-by, and suddenly you have a strip club surrounded by zombies. A couple of people go visit the doctor, who gets eaten by a stowaway zombie, then come back to the strip club. Blah blah blah.
To call Zombies Zombies Zombies a pedestrian effort is to underplay the staggering awfulness of this movie. You don't expect high art with a title like this, but possibly some fun. I always cross my fingers on these movies, thinking that they are made because the creators felt like they could make a zombie movie that sets itself apart, that has one small thing to recommend itself. Not so with this film. There is nothing here you haven't seen before, executed far better.
Our pal Rob at Natsukashi occasionally reminds me of the moratorium he has called on zombie films. I am beginning to agree. To paraphrase Jeff Goldblum, the filmmakers "were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." They shouldn't have. This brings nothing new to the genre. This is one of those films that you feel shame for having seen, and it gives ammo to all those critics who complain about horror films being recycled pseudo-pornography. Every viewer will be a little dumber for having seen it. I award it no points, and may God have mercy on its soul.
0 Comments