"Happy?"

Sure Dr. Zaius claims that his happy underpants plan for America is all in good fun and that it's going to be good for us, but is it really???? Let's look at the facts:

Under Zaius's twisted panty plan every man, woman, and child in this country could be stopped by thugs like this and forcibly checked to make sure they were wearing underwear:

And if you don't pass Zaius's underpants test then this happens to you:

And if you get caught again not wearing the proper Zaius proscribed undies then you are fired from your job

and your house is taken away from you and given to underwear barons like this one:

"Grrrr, only terrorists don't wear Dr. Zaius's happy underpants! I'm wearing the sandpaper variety this second. Grrrrr."

Anyone who speaks out against the forced underwearization of America will be brutally repressed. Protests will be met with violent reaction from Zaius's panty boy thugs.

Families will be encouraged to turn one another in for not wearing the proper underwear. Lives will be made miserable all because Zaius wants us to prudishly keep our genitals covered at all times.Can we really trust an ape who wants to make us keep our pee pee's and our hoo hoo's covered up all the time? Zaius's vision for America's future is twisted and wrong. Fortunately, there is a better way!Here at the Monkey/Love 2008 campaign we say wear what you like! Boxers, briefs, thongs, anything! And you can even go commando if you want. That's right, unlike Dr. Zaius, we trust you the American people to do what's best for you. We're not going to create some big bureaucracy whose sole mission is to be in your pants 24/7. Your underwear, or lack thereof, is your business, you're not going to see us sniffing around down there, no sir.
Drew Barrymore says, "Yipee! I love the feel of fresh air on my nether regions as I skate! That scoundrel Zaius would deprive me of my right to flash my goodies while I frolic about. I'm voting Monkey/Love and I'm doing it with no panties on!"Kate Hudson says, "I'm very happy over the news that I can go commando if I want. To celebrate, I'm going to go braless!"Archie Panjabi says, "I'm a British citizen, leave me alone. Seriously, I mean it. I'll take a restraining order out against you if I have to."

There you have it! Two out of every three people want to keep this country free and normal by rejecting Zaius's twisted vision. Vote Monkey/Love in 2008, you have nothing to lose but your undies!